Privacy Policy Cookie Policy Terms and Conditions
Love and Relationships

102 Relationship Questions and Answers You've Been Searching For (2024)

#8 What do you do when your FWB starts to develop feelings for you? #100 What makes men and women swipe right on a dating profile? #71 How do you tell your partner about the fantasy you want to try? And 99 more relationship questions and answers you may never have even thought of!


Kenneth Erickson


Feb 25, 2023

102 Relationship Questions and Answers

We wanted to give you some quick answers to your burning relationship questions. So, we scoured the internet, talked to our friends, strangers, and even pulled some juicy bits out of our own relationship history in order to come up with all the relationship questions people want answers to. We're covering cheating, breakups, dating, sex, and everything in-between!

  • Dating Apps, Messaging, and Profiles
  • Breakups and Getting Back Together
  • Cheating, Leaving, and Second Chances
  • Sex, Toys, and Games
  • And Everything In-Between

There's a lot of info covered here (at a high level to keep it brief!) so come in and see if your question made the list!

Woman looking at signs called Questions and Answers

Yes, many of these questions have deeper explanations and some answers may have supporting information, but we’re going to focus on info and feedback from online forums, anecdotal evidence, and surveys that give you the answers you’re looking for!

People clinking glasses at a bar

1. Your partner got drunk, cheated, but owned up to it and told you immediately (you know what we mean). Do you give them a second chance?

Answer: This is obviously a tough one (and deserves more explanation and discussion), but the short answer is YES, give them a second chance, if only to hear what they have to say.

Find out what happened in your relationship that caused this breach of trust. The fact that they told you right away (and there’s an assumption here that they’re sad and regretting the cheating) is a positive signal, in the grad scheme of things, and you’re olive branch is that you are allowing them a chance to explain and discuss the relationship as a whole in order to hopefully make things better.

If this person is still important to you, this would be the best way forward. If things don’t meet your expectations then you can always cut ties and know you gave them a chance.

Related Help: 13 Signs Your Relationship is in Trouble

Two guys kissing a woman on the cheeks

2. Your significant other wants to try an open relationship and you’re either not sure how you feel about it or you know it’s not for you? What do you do and what does it mean for the relationship now that they asked you?

Answer: If you know it’s not for you and your partner has thought about it enough to approach you with the idea, we don’t see a future for the relationship.

You can either have the conversation and find out they’re determined to live the lifestyle they want, which seems like it won’t work for you and - the relationship is over. Or, they say they’ll suppress the feelings which you’ll always doubt and, thus, the relationship will eventually end in this kind of anxious environment.

If you’re open to it, but just unsure, you can talk about what this new arrangement means and either give it a try. Maybe it will be fun and you’ll enjoy it, maybe one or both of you will decide it’s not for you, but at least there won’t be blame or regret for not not listening or trying.

3. You’re getting bored with your relationship because your bf/gf never has an opinion about anything, is too passive, and just lets you make all the decisions. What should you do?

Answer: You need to tell them how you feel. Give them a chance to take some control. It’s certainly possible they honestly don’t care about certain decisions and feel that if you’re getting what you want then you should be happy…?

Have they ever tried making plans or a decision on something and you always insert yourself or have your own opinion on their idea? Just be sure to understand how you may be contributing to the behavior you’re getting frustrated about.

If you do none of these things then, YES, you’re partner should make an effort to take some decision making off your plate, surprise you from time to time, and let you rest your brain.

REMEMBER: Even if they don’t knock it out of the park the first time, positive feedback will keep them thinking and planning on how they can up their game. Criticism will have everything crash and burn.

Woman holding onto a guys leg and not letting go

4. What do you do when your partner doesn’t have any friends and you become their whole world?

Answer: This sounds like the makings for a clingy, jealous, and oppressive dynamic. You may not feel like this is your responsibility, but you’ll need to put your partner at ease about your need for a little space and that it’s not a negative for your relationship, in fact it’s a positive.

If your partner has low self-esteem or self-confidence this could be why they feel the need to be at your side during anything social. Routine communication and updates while you’re out, in the beginning to help ease their anxiety could help them be more comfortable with this time apart.

In a perfect world, your partner would have their own friends, but you can’t control this and you need to make sure you take care of yourself, otherwise the relationship could be in jeopardy.

Check It: Self-Care Confidence Boost | Level Up Your Attractiveness

A man and a woman in bed with their arms crossed

5. What do you do when you lose the physical attraction and desire to be intimate with your partner? Basically, they don’t turn you on anymore, or worse, you hate or are repulsed by the thought of touching them.

Answer: You need to figure out the root cause of this. It’s almost never anything physical. A loss of attraction is usually a sign there are problems in the relationship stemming from lack of communication, interaction, and growing apart.

It may feel awkward to have a discussion that speaks to a lack of intimacy and feeling towards your partner, but chances are they’re either feeling it too or it could be affecting them in a different negative way.

Bottom line is, if you both don’t start talking and being honest with your feelings, and frustrations, in a safe space, then things will only get worse. This may even require bringing in a therapist or counseling in order to more effectively communicate. Don’t wait or things will just get worse.

Read This: Want A Revenge Body? 10 Reasons To Go For That Body Transformation!

A couple on a sofa with their backs to each other

6. What should you do when you feel like you’re growing apart or losing your compatibility? You’ve been together for years and want to start over, hurt your person, or are worried about losing all your invested time?

Answer: No one wants to think they’re destined to live a lie or an unhappy life just because they're afraid of hurting the feelings of their partner.

Maybe you’ve tried dropping hints or doing things by yourself to fix some problems or encourage some change in your partner? Even if you had some success, the only way for longer term sustainable success is to involve your partner.

Think: Short term pain, longer term gain. If they take it poorly, remind them that the reason you’re causing this pain is because you care and NEED things to improve.

Good Stuff: 6 Types of Breakups That Get Back Together - The Ultimate Guide

A woman with steam blowing out of her ears

7. What should you do when your partner thinks you’re lying about something and you’re not, but they won’t let it go? Trust and Self-Confidence issues.

Answer: The assumption here is that the something they won’t let go has to do with the relationship and their feelings of security in it.

You may tell them that they’re crazy for thinking or feeling this way or get mad at them because of their lack of trust in you and what you told them is the truth, but don’t forget that there’s much more that’s typically behind these feelings.

For whatever reason, there is a REASON they feel like this and it’s their reality.

It’s very likely that these feelings are a culmination of many other events or interactions that finally boiled over. This is one of those times when you need to focus on the LISTEN first part of communication. Know that this isn’t all your responsibility either.

It takes two to feel secure and happy. Your partner is going to have to work on themselves as well and look inward at their confidence, feelings of self worth, and ability to trust.

A man trying to give a woman a ring

8. What do you do when one person in a regular hookup / FWB situation begins to develop feelings for the other?

Answer: If either you or your FWB don’t think there’s a real chance of giving things a go AND neither of you wants to lose this friendship, then you need to just end the benefits part of things.

If it’s more of a hookup and there’s less friendship, well, same thing. The hard part of this is that, usually, once feelings start to make an appearance, feelings also are likely to get hurt.

People can have feelings of embarrassment or rejection once they’ve opened themselves up. This is true in a kind of early romantic relationship. Try to be sensitive to this and appreciative that they opened up, it doesn’t change the way you see them, and you value your friendship.

Be prepared that the person who opened up may need, for themselves, to take a step back from the relationship, not so much from any embarrassment or rejection, but because of the pain from the disappointment and a little heartbreak from losing what they began to hope could be. 

Person swiping on their phone

9. Should I "un-match a match” if they take more than a day or two to respond?

Answer: Online dating can be like a job that people need a vacation from sometimes. Be patient, available, and be positive and fun when you do interact. This will improve your chances and reduce your own dating stress level.

Don’t take it personal (sometimes) and if it is personal you’ll either know or they’ll un-match from you!

Perfect: Start an Epic Conversation on Tinder | Make Getting Dates Easy With These 14 Tips

A guy looking worried

10. Why am I worried about reaching out to someone on a dating app when they didn’t get back after I messaged? I’ll be embarrassed if they’re not interested.

Answer: The undeniable advantage (Pro) of dating apps is the huge number of potential prospects available to you AND this is also one of the biggest downsides (Con).

If you’re going to use an online dating app, be prepared that every match will not work out and that there’s competition all over the place. You can’t afford to be embarrassed, quiet, or unassuming because others will be getting your matches attention.

What should you do? You just need to be respectful, engaging, and fun/positive when you do get your moments. If you message and don’t hear anything back, feel free to ping something funny or that you know they’ll relate to.

Don’t make any assumptions about how they’re feeling. You can only control yourself. If it’s still crickets then keep looking.

You can leave the door open, but you’re not going to wait around. If there is something there, you’ll hear from them and, if not, you can feel good that you took a swing and one strike isn’t going to knock you out of the game.

Dating Drama: 12 Reasons Your Ex Swiped Right On Your Dating Profile

Angry looking couple

11. How can I provide criticism to my significant other when they ask for my opinion? Should I be honest?

Answer: The rule of thumb depends on the types of questions they are asking and the overall effect it has on you and your relationship together.

You’re being asked these questions because they trust you and value your opinion. Sometimes a question is not a question, but more of a need for validation and compliments.

If building up your partner and helping them feel good isn’t going to hurt anyone, then just smile and support. Other times, some honesty is necessary to avoid a negative situation.

When this is the case, just be sure to explain why you may disagree or have a certain opinion that may be contrary to what they may have been looking for. If it comes from a place of caring and love, then hopefully they’ll understand and accept it.

People holding a pride flag

12. What’s the difference between all the different types of “sexualities”? Pan, Heteroflexible, etc…

Answer: Beyond the more commonly understood sexualities such as heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual, these other groups and types also exist:

  • Pansexual: Attraction to individuals regardless of their sex or gender identity.
  • Asexual: Little to no sexual attraction to others, although some asexual individuals may still have romantic attraction.
  • Demisexual: Sexual attraction that only occurs when there is a deep emotional connection.
  • Queer: A term that encompasses a variety of sexual orientations and gender identities that are not heterosexual and cisgender. Some people prefer this term because it is flexible and inclusive.
  • Questioning: A term used for individuals who are unsure about or exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity.
  • Polysexual: Attraction to many, but not necessarily all, genders.
  • Omnisexual: Similar to pansexuality but with recognition of and attraction to all different genders, with gender often playing a role in the attraction.
  • Heteroflexible: Primarily heterosexual, but occasionally attracted to the same sex or gender.
  • Homoflexible: Primarily homosexual, but occasionally attracted to the opposite sex or gender.
  • Graysexual: Fits within the asexuality spectrum but experiences limited sexual attraction or experiences sexual attraction very rarely.
Muscle man with no shirt on
  • Androsexual: Attraction to masculinity or males.
  • Gynesexual: Attraction to femininity or females.
  • Skoliosexual: Attraction to non-binary individuals, or those who do not identify as cisgender men or women.
  • Lithsexual/Akoiosexual: This term describes people who experience sexual attraction but do not desire reciprocation.
  • Apothisexual: This term is used by individuals who are a part of the asexual community. They may experience a repulsion or aversion towards the idea of having sex themselves.
  • Cupiosexual: Individuals who identify as cupiosexual are asexual but still desire a sexual relationship.
  • Requiessexual: A term used within the asexual community to denote individuals who previously experienced sexual attraction but no longer do.
  • Abrosexual: This term describes people whose sexual orientation is fluid and can change over time.
Woman looking at her reflection in mirror
  • Autosexual: This is a term used to describe individuals who are sexually attracted to themselves.
  • Placiosexual: This term describes individuals who do not have sexual attraction but enjoy performing sexual acts.
  • Sapiosexual: This term is used by people who find intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.
  • Androgynosexual: This term describes individuals who are attracted to both men and women, specifically those with an androgynous appearance.
  • Monosexual: This is a term used to refer to people who are attracted to only one sex or gender. Heterosexual, gay, and lesbian people are all examples of monosexual orientations.
  • Allosexual: This term is often used in the asexual community to describe anyone who is not asexual, i.e., people who experience sexual attraction.
Group of women in pool
  • Novosexual: Used to describe individuals whose sexual orientation changes in new situations.
  • Nebulasexual/Neblugender: These terms refer to a person whose sexual orientation or gender identity is complex or indefinable, potentially changing and fluctuating over time.
  • Reciprosexual: This term is used to describe individuals who are typically only attracted to someone if they know the other person is attracted to them.
  • Spectrasexual: A term used to describe individuals attracted to the spectrum of genders.
  • Quoisexual: Refers to someone who has difficulty differentiating between sexual attraction and other forms of attraction, or who struggles to understand the concept of sexuality itself.
Woman waiting under a clock

13. Am I being slow ghosted or am I just too impatient? What’s a good / normal amount of interaction and cadence after a first date?

Answer: Normal can mean different things to different people, but we believe that after a first date everyone should recognize there’s a need to understand something worth pursuing here.

Assuming you got the impression that the first date went very well and all the signs and signals of attraction are there, there should be some fairly prompt communication in the earliest moments.

You should feel comfortable reaching out, but after that don’t push. If they don’t get back to you within 24 to 48 hours that is likely a sign they’re still keeping their options open.

At least you didn’t throw off the insecure or needy vibe by text bombing their phone or spiraling into some sort of negative, angry, or accusatory thread. Just take a breath and keep your options (and the door to this one) open until it’s mutually understood you’re both exclusive.

Person using cell phone and holding a coffee

14. We had sex on the first date - will I ever hear from him again? Should I have waited longer?

Answer: Whether you waited longer or not, if that’s all he was after then it probably was never going to become anything serious.

There’s no correlation between how long you make someone wait for sex and the likelihood they’ll develop a need for a long term relationship with you. If anything, there’s something to be said for being in the moment and capitalizing on the opportunity that’s right in front of you.

If it feels right to you and it’s something that you want to do (not being pressured into, “huge red flag”) then go for it.

If he ends up disappearing on you then he was either just looking to hookup and not ready for a more committed relationship or he was in the moment as well, but for one reason or another he didn’t feel the overall chemistry (not just sexual) was there, it happens.

Note: If he does get back to you and it feels less like dating and more like a booty call, chances are that’s all it is.

15. What’s the right amount of time to wait before having sex with a guy you meet on a dating app?

Answer: Slightly different question, but essentially the same answer as above. Do what feels right to you and be in the moment. There isn’t some sort of sex algorithm or code that can be followed that will result in a LTR guarantee. 

Woman making an I don't know gesture

16. When do I know if I should leave my partner or try to work on things and give it a chance?

Answer: Everyone seems so quick to say “dump him/her” or “leave!” seems like that’s always simple. Sometimes this is the best advice, but usually in these cases it’s super apparent why.

If it’s not a situation involving abuse or something similar, then consider whether the desire to leave is because of changes in you or changes in your partner. If these changes are in you then there may not be anything your partner can do to change this.

If there is something your partner is able to change then the next step should be to have an honest conversation and give them an opportunity to respond and/or work with you and on themselves. If you’ve gone through this and you’re still not happy maybe things need to end.

This isn’t an easy one and really depends on many variables, but the easiest breakdown is if there is a relationship worth salvaging you should give your partner an opportunity to work on things.

Note: If this is the case, be very clear and transparent with all your needs, feelings, etc… and be open to hearing the same from them. If, after this, you both agree or disagree it’s possible then you can begin the work or end things with clear reasons why. 

Say What: Denied | 8 Reasons Your Partner Won't Connect on Social Media

Guy on park bench with head in hands

17. What’s the best way to break up with someone you care about? But you know it isn’t working out and you know they’ll take it very badly?

Answer: Know that you are very unlikely to spare your partner the pain of a breakup or divorce.

Rather than just saying things are over and ripping the bandaid off (it’s tough to be the one to say it’s over so we get it), there may be an opportunity to have a calm moment when you know you have time an no interruptions, to each paint a picture of the relationship and be honest with each other that this isn’t what you picture if you were to describe your vision of a fulfilling relationship.

This may help create some understanding of where you’re at. You may have tried working on some of these things unsuccessful and you can address the efforts made. This is also another situation where some professional support may be warranted to guide and facilitate. 

People with happy and mad bags on their heads

18. My wife/husband has opposite sex friends that he/she wants to occasionally do things alone with. Should I be ok with this or should I worry?

Answer: The short answer is, you should be ok with this and not worry. As long as they’ve never given you a reason to doubt their love and fidelity, then you should trust that this is nothing more than a friendship.

This is easiest when you know your partner's friend and/or the activities are reasonable. Sure, there can be different takes on what is reasonable, but we’re trying to keep the answer short and sweet.

If there are reasons to doubt any requests or explanations, there have  been some previous breaches of trust, or things are going outside of what you feel comfortable with, have an honest talk about your feelings.

There needs to be a balance between one partner’s need for outside friendships and independence and the feelings of the partner who’s trying to listen and allow for these needs.

Woman in bed staring at cell phone

19. How do I stop myself from reaching out to my Ex during a “No Contact” period?

Answer: If you’re doing “No Contact” because you’re trying to get over the pain of a breakup and there’s no chance at getting back together, then delete their phone number and every and all social media connections.

If there is a chance that the two of you may get back together, well then… do the same thing.

When you’re feeling emotional or reminiscent - call your friends, call your family, have a checklist of things that “In Case of Emergency” do these things before reaching out to your ex:  Exercise, shower, clean, go shopping, pretty much do anything that requires a little bit of thought and movement.

This is How You Reconnect After a Relationship Break | Advice That Finally Helps

And This!: How To Get Over Your Ex | Make Winning Moves After a Breakup

Two man and a woman toasting drinks

20. My partner wants to try a 3-some, what should I do?

Answer: First things first - if you’re even considering bringing a third into the bedroom you better be in a very secure relationship.

Make sure you and your partner have a conversation about what you’re both looking to get out of the experience, how to communicate if something doesn’t feel right, checking jealousy at the door, and making each other feel included, wanted, and loved… just to name a few things.

If at any time either of you isn’t 100% on board and feeling comfortable with the people and/or arrangement - pause and reconsider. A three some is as much about strengthening the bond and trust between you and your partner as it is about the physical and mental pleasure of the act.

For some couples, this is the start of a fun and exciting journey into new sexual experiences and for other couples it can be the end of a relationship. 

Man on knees begging woman

21. What do you do when your ex won’t let things go after a breakup?

Answer: Sometimes people have a hard time accepting the end of a relationship. The need to understand why, and a hope that some kind of “closure” will help them move on could be a reason for continued contact after a breakup.

Our best advice for you is to try and avoid contact the best you can. In the cases where there are shared friends, a concern about being perceived as mean or cruel for “ignoring” the feelings of your ex, and maybe even the very real concern you may have for your ex and their feelings and wellbeing.

Afterall, you loved each other or at least had strong feelings for them at some point. If your ex keeps reaching out to meet or talk, for any reason, they are clearly not over you and ready to move on. The most helpful thing for them is to have no contact with you at all and to let them get over things. If they have access, it may prolong the healing.

We know it’s tough, but try and maintain distance otherwise, they may take this as an indication you may be interested in getting back together. If you’re not, then do them a favor and just give them space.

Check it out: The 7 Stages Of A Breakup | And How To  Recover Quickly

Fingers that look like a couple and a mad single

22. My bf/gf is jealous of my past relationship with my ex and the insecurity is starting to affect our relationship. What should I do?

Answer: It’s interesting how much advice is geared towards talking and open communication. This clearly demonstrates the need to do this well in order to maintain a healthy relationship.

It’s no different here. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is feeling insecure, open up a conversation that gets right to the point.

“I want you to know how much you mean to me. I never want you to worry about that and I want you to know you can talk to me about anything. Lately it feels like you're worried or get upset anytime (ex’s name) comes up. Please tell me how you’re feeling and together we can figure out how to listen and support each other's wants and feelings.”

This may be a little wordy, but we just wanted to give an example of a conversion starter.

A partner’s insecurities, while it may seem like an individual issue and inward exploration, is often triggered by the actions of their partner or other loved ones. Be aware of your actions as well and talk about how you can work together to support each other.

Funny picture of scared kid

23. How do you handle a low self-esteem or insecure partner?

Answer: Again, very similar to the previous answer. You need to create a safe and open space where your partner can talk to you about the things they have insecurities about.

If there’s something you are able to help and support, have that discussion. If it’s less about anything you're doing and more a result of their past or upbringing then you need to compassionately communicate how certain things related to these insecurities are affecting the relationship from your perspective.

Couples counseling and/or individual therapy could help dig deeper into the root cause and provide actionable steps to improve things. 

Man holding woman's leg as she's walking away

24. How should you handle a partner that’s anxious attached?

Answer: People with an anxious attachment style tend to crave closeness and intimacy, worry about their relationships, and may need frequent reassurance from their partners.

If you're in a relationship with someone with an anxious attachment style, be sure to communicate often, they need more reassurance about how you’re feeling, specifically about them, than someone that isn’t anxious attached.

Encourage independence when the opportunity arises and demonstrate that the relationship is safe and secure even when you each spend time apart or do things separately. If there’s a history of “healthy” time apart (and any fears are unrealized) then this can improve feelings of security and trust in the relationship.

This doesn’t happen overnight though, so be patient and work with your partner so you can both enjoy, not worry about, time apart and together.

Three people running

25. How do you handle a partner that’s avoidant attached?

Answer: Someone with an avoidant attachment style tends to be self-reliant and prefer independence over a close relationship. They often pull away when things get too close or intimate, out of fear of losing their autonomy.

If your partner has an avoidant attachment style space you will need to understand and respect their need for space from time to time. When they begin to feel smothered or forced into spending time together, they will react by pulling away.

Understanding this is the most important factor in managing a relationship with an avoidant attachment personality. Next you can’t take this personally and need to understand this is more about how they manage feelings of intimacy and not about their feelings toward you. Try to create some space on your own terms by having hobbies and friends that gives you healthy time apart that you can enjoy.

Having a partner that is able to enjoy independence and time apart is a good fit for an avoidant. Lastly, be open, be honest, and communicate often. You have your own needs as well and a successful relationship only works when it works for the both of you.

Man holding a small pickle

26. What should you do if your bf/husband has size insecurity (penis envy)?

Answer: Bigger does not always mean better. I’m sure this would make for an interesting debate on some sub Reddit somewhere, but it’s the truth. The average erect penis size is 5-6 inches long.

Why? Partly, because the average depth of an aroused vaginal canal is 4-5 inches. Once a penis is comfortably beyond this average, things can potentially get “uncomfortable”. The other point that is very important to eliminate those feelings of penis envy is that penis size is not the only factor in female arousal.

If you help your boyfriend or husband feel secure and comfortable with the knowledge that they arouse you and are fulfilling your sexual needs - hopefully they’ll worry less about something they can’t control and focus more on the “bigger” picture of sexual enjoyment.

Couple talking at a table

27. Should I stay in a “relatively good” relationship?

Answer: Maybe? Do you see this relationship moving from relatively good to good, maybe even amazing? Is there anything you can do to improve things? What is it that’s keeping you from describing this relationship as amazing? Are you happy in this relationship?

If you’re unhappy, always feeling like you deserve more, or have a build frustration or resentment in your current dynamic then you need to open up and be honest with your partner. Be honest about your feelings and what you feel is missing and what it would take to take things from relatively good to amazing. Don’t drop hints!

Be clear, direct, and transparent.

This is the only way to give your partner the opportunity to make any adjustments on their end and be open and responsive to their feelings and suggestions as well. If after this you are still struggling, it may be time to bring in some professional support.

There’re, potentially, a lot of variables and factors that need to be accounted for when making the decision to stay or go. Reasons why one would stay in a so-so relationship much longer than they would otherwise be inclined. Try to create a life you’ll be happy with and never feel like you didn’t give things a chance or stay true to yourself.

Man and woman hugging with woman making heart symbol

28. What makes a relationship “good”?

Answer: We’ll try and keep this one simple…

The foundation and habits for a good and healthy relationship are: Trust, Respect, Constant and Open Communication, Balance or a “Give and Take” of Personal Needs, Independence, Empathy, Support, Flexibility, Affection, and Shared Interests and Values.

On the surface this may seem like a lot, but once you get the hang of it, you two will be that amazing couple that makes all that hard work look so effortless.

29. I just found out my partner cheated, what do I do? Actually, we were together, broke up (she/he hooked up), we got back together again, but they didn’t tell me about the hookup. That isn’t cool, right?

Answer: Wrong. If you were broken up (even if you got back together) you have no obligation to divulge anything from after the breakup and before you got back together.

That’s their biz. Would telling you have helped with reconciliation? Probably not. Depending on the situation, were they taking a risk not telling you if there’s a good chance you’d find out? Seems like it.

The fact is, this isn’t “cheating” and you need to decide for yourself whether this relationship and the trust between you can withstand this. 

Woman frustrated and screaming

30. What do you do when your partner says you don’t “Do” or “Act” XYZ every time they do something that gets you upset? - But you know you do??? They always use it as a fallback when they do something wrong or there’s a fight.

Answer: This kind of behavior is generally referred to as deflection, blame shifting, or psychological projection. It's a defense mechanism in which a person refuses to acknowledge their own faults or mistakes and instead shifts blame onto others, often the person they are arguing with.

It is a common characteristic of toxic relationships and can be emotionally abusive. This can also be a sign of narcissistic behavior, as narcissists are known to consistently deflect responsibility for their actions and blame others instead.

If this is happening to you, keep your cool and don’t get drawn into a blame game. Stand your ground and be clear that this discussion is because of the recent issue and not some other past or inaccurate event.

Situations like this can be very challenging and may not be something you can easily manage yourself. If you find that you’re not making any progress and the relationship is in danger, this would be an excellent time to involve a professional's support. 

Couple flirting with each other

31. What’s the best way to get started dating with little or no dating experience?

Answer: Simple, start dating! Experience is the best teacher in this case. There are some helpful tips though that will help improve your experience and improve your odds for success.

Have a good idea about what you’re looking for and try to practice intentional dating. If you have no idea the type of person you’re looking for then it’s ok to cast a wider net and learn about what you like and what you don’t. Stay true to yourself and who you are - if you compromise on your core needs and values, things will be very difficult in the long term.

Enjoy the journey and understand that dating is trial and error. Sometimes you’ll be rejected, other times you may do the rejecting. This is natural and to be expected. Put yourself out here and start meeting people, that’s the best way to make connections.

Girl with hearts on her eyes

32. What are the qualities women are attracted to in a man?

Answer: Trying to stay true to our goal of straight forward answers and not a lot of explanations, here you go:

Self-Assured and Self-Confident, Empathetic and Considerate, Intelligent, Fun and Gregarious, Have Ambition, Drive, and Purpose, Physically Attractive, Good EQ, Stable (emotionally and financially), and Respectful and Supportive.

Easy peasy!

Helpful: No Likes on Tinder? | 6 Reasons Why This Happens

Helpful: Tinder for Beginners | The 5 Steps for Successful Online Dating

Man and woman on beach

33. What are the qualities men are attracted to in a woman?

Answer: Turnaround is fair play! The qualities are super similar.

Here we go: Physically attractive, Confident, Kind, Intelligent, Funny and Not Overly Serious, Independent, Trustworthy, Supportive and Encouraging, Good EQ, and Passionate and Exciting. Piece of Cake!

34. How do you get over being rejected by someone you ask out or who says “no” to a second date?

Answer: Rejection, in any form, can feel very painful because it's tied to some deep psychological and emotional processes. It's especially true in the realm of dating, where feelings of romantic interest and emotional vulnerability are at the forefront.

Oftentimes we take rejection as a blow to our self esteem and a direct comment on our own attractiveness, personality, and/or desirability. We’re programmed to want connections, feel positive feedback when we’re accepted, and negative feedback when we’re not.

All this is to explain the reason behind the aversion to rejection. Sorry! At least we kept it brief. How do you get over it? Just remember that there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s just that you weren’t the right fit for the other person.

There’s almost no way someone will go through the process of dating and not experience rejection in one degree or another during this time. We are not all compatible and that’s just the reality of the situation.

Try not to take it personally, have your self-care plan on standby, and keep your close friends on speed dial! Allow yourself a moment to feel the emotions (maybe even learn from them), and then get back out there!

Woman making x sign with arms

35. I really like this guy/girl, but they won’t respect my boundaries. What should I do?

Answer: If your boundaries are important to you then it’s important that they respect them.

Give him or her another chance, but clearly communicate what you want and why you want it. Hopefully this will do the trick. But if not, this is a lack of respect towards you and a red flag for the relationship.

If they don’t understand or disagree with your ask, you need to make a decision on what’s more important to you and whether it’s time to move on or not.

36. When should you give someone you’ve been texting on a dating app your phone number?

Answer: Just like when you decide to give anyone your phone number, whether online or someone you’ve met in person, you’re always making a judgment about the other person’s trustworthiness, motives, and how safe you feel about giving out your personal number.

Typically, before sharing your number you’ve established enough of a relationship that you feel comfortable and safe doing so.

Man looking through magnifying glass

37. My online match asked me for my full name and D.O.B. so she could do a background check on me before she goes on a date with me… is this cool? A red flag? Should I worry?

Answer: So, we’ll never say anyone should compromise their safety or put themselves in a potentially dangerous position with someone they don’t really know.

But, there’s probably multiple ways to manage meeting someone, like in a public setting or with a group of friends. If a background check makes you comfortable then go for it. If you feel comfortable sharing your information with someone you just met who wants to run a background check on you, more power to you.

Well, assuming nothing sordid would turn up on your background check, is it a red flag about your potential date? I guess you’ll have to have the date to find out!

Man in colorful outfit trying to look sexy on couch

38. How can I get noticed more by men/women? What can I do to be more attractive?

Answer: We think about this in three different areas: Physical Appearance, Confidence and Potential, and Enjoyment.

In order to optimize your attractiveness, do your best to tweak these three areas:

Physical Appearance can include the clothes your wearing (stylish, hip, put together, etc…), how you present yourself (clean cut, shaggy chic, basically show you put some effort into getting ready to meet someone you’d like to impress), and finally you can try to work on things like muscles and weight, but this takes time, but even if your just getting started, a commitment to health and your body can also be attractive.

Confidence and Potential speaks to how you view yourself, your comfort in these social situations when you meet someone new and the Potential part is what you're doing with your life, your goals, and your ability to offer security.

Lastly, Enjoyment focuses on how the other person feels when they’re with you. Is being with you fun and enjoyable? Do you make them laugh, feel excited, allow them to express themselves and be themselves?

These are all contributory to how attractive you may be viewed. By making small improvements to any or all of these three areas, you will likely improve your level of attractiveness when dating.

Man trying to avoid woman that's waving at him

39. Does playing “hard to get” work? - there is probably some underlying psychology here.

Answer: The short answer here is, YES, it does often work, but only if done correctly. Playing hard to get is a form of psychological manipulation designed to increase attraction or intrigue by creating a sense of scarcity or uncertainty.

People are naturally attracted to things that seem hard to obtain or scarce. People that they seem to have a difficult time attracting or landing will become that much more attractive.

Now, there is a window during which people will allow the chase and it only will stay open as long as it remains fun and exciting and there is some sense of reward (think positive feedback).

As soon as this tips into a negative feedback situation, because the excitement and fun has now turned into frustration and anxiety, the chase is no longer worth it. And, if this happens, you may end up the one doing the chasing.

One woman telling another woman something in her ear

40. How fast is too fast on a first date? When you really, really, like a person - how much should you tell them what you’re feeling?

Answer: There is truly no one right answer on this one. Two people can mutually fall in love with each other on a first date, the elusive Love at First Sight.

Other times, courting can take months or even years to build up the courage to share your feelings or know that the feelings you have are real, and reciprocated. There’s also everything in between.

The advice we would offer is once you know you’re smitten with your person, don’t keep it to yourself for too long. Even if the other person may be a little more timid in showing and sharing the feelings, it doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling it too.

The caveat here is, you should also know how to read the room and interpret signals. Because I am unlikely to fall in love or tell someone I love them after one or two dates, I would very likely be a little shocked and concerned if on date two my date told me they love me.

I’d worry that they really don’t know me well enough at that point to feel that about me. Sure it could be flattering, but it can also be off putting.

Try to read your person and get a sense of how fast they’re moving, what you guys talk about (future marriage and living arrangement or things much less committal?), and make sure that when you take things to the next level by sharing these types of wants and feelings, it makes sense to do so and you’re on the same page.

Cute ugly dog

41. What is “hot ugly”? Should I be insulted?

Answer: Hot Ugly basically means that a person is unconventionally attractive. To a confident person this could be taken as a compliment, while someone with low confidence could see it as an insult.

42. Am I wrong to be frustrated when my partner always puts our kids before me? He/she always says the kids are the most important thing…

Answer: The fact that your feeling frustrated in your relationship is a red flag to begin with. Regardless of the reason for the frustration (all attention focused on the kids or something else), you need to have an honest and open conversion with your partner about what’s bothering you.

While the kids may have many needs that require time and attention, so do you and your partner. The general consensus is that the kids will benefit more if you and your partner are maintaining a strong and healthy relationship that they can observe, learn from, and eventually emulate.

When you and your partner take time for yourselves to stay connected, the kids win in the long run. Find a healthy balance on kids/family time and couple strengthening and support. 

Sexy nerd girl

43. Is “nerdy” the new sexy?

Answer: To a large extent, the answer is YES. Intelligence and curiosity, often associated with “nerds” have always been qualities that were viewed as attractive to many men and women looking for a relationship.

With the huge rise in gaming, comic movies, and anime in general becoming more mainstream, there is definitely much more of an affinity for “sexy smart or nerdy”. Move over sexy librarians, or at least make room for a gaming console.

44. What’s the best thing to do on a first date? I hear dinner and a movie is now the worst idea

Answer: Yes, hold off on the dinner and a movie idea until you’ve really had a chance to get to know each other. The goal of a successful first date is to talk, discover things, and ideally interact in as many ways as possible.

Bars (if you’re at least 21) are often a good idea, and the reasons are: You’re able to talk and be close enough to touch, observe body language, let you prospective partner see how you interact with other people (you can watch hem too) such as wait staff and other patrons, sharing some food is definitely intimate, but safe for a first date, and just imagine if there’s trivia, pool, or table shuffleboard where the two of you can team up and work together to win something?!?

The focus isn’t entirely on dating questions and small get to know you talk. You’re bonding over something common together and in real time. Sounds like a pretty good first date to me.

There’s certainly many other ways to achieve this, but the core principles are the same. As a rule, no movies, libraries, or churches on a first date.

Man and woman about to kiss

45. What are the signs a girl or guy wants to kiss you?

Answer: The biggest signs are touching, body language, and body positioning. When someone is interested in you they’ll maintain eye contact, except for when they occasionally peek at other physical traits that they are interested in.

If they start looking at your mouth this is a sign they are interested in what it would be like to kiss you. If their open body language begins to involve brief light touching, especially with laughing and smiling, then this is a very positive signal.

Finally, if they close the distance between you to one foot or less and there’s been any hand holding, don’t be surprised or afraid to get a little closer.

46. What are the key goals for a great first date?

Answer: Similar to the answer in question #44, a successful first date is about establishing a connection through shared interests, desires, and values.

It’s about getting that positive vibe or positive feedback, where you feel listened to and understood, and  excitement and intrigue from what might yet come.

There’s a good balance of give and take or sharing and learning. Everything isn’t about love and dating, it also involves life, goals, accomplishments, and dreams. The real goal is to be yourself and have that be just what the other person has been looking for.

Woman looking at phone with surprised look on her face

47. Is FWB more complicated (messy) than it’s worth? Is it even possible to have this kind of arrangement without either damaging the relationship or someone developing feelings or getting jealous?

Answer: To begin with, anything is possible. If two people are attracted to each other physically and even mentally, but maybe not emotionally, then sure.

There are people that aren’t looking for the responsibility or commitment associated with a relationship. They could enjoy their time together when they get it, with no expectations as each person would continue to live their life separately and fully independent of each other.

It’s more likely that this would be a requisite of success here. If your life happens to be intertwined in some way either through other friends or work, then the chances of maintaining a no mess FWB relationship becomes less likely.

48. When are you ready to date again after a breakup?

Answer: It could be day 1 or day 1001. You’re ready to date again when you are doing it for yourself and you are truly emotionally and physically available to the people you start dating.

If any of your motivations or how you interact with new dating partners is impacted or affected by your ex or your thoughts, hope, or feelings you have with your ex, then hold off and wait till they’re out of your mind and heart, at least regarding anything relationship related.

Related: 1000% Improvement After a Breakup | Celebrity Successes

Woman looking deep in thought

49. How do you know if you’re just a rebound girlfriend or boyfriend?

Answer: The main signs that you could be a rebound are:

Your boyfriend or girlfriend just got out of a long term or intense relationship, they’re a little non-committal when it comes to your relationship status or relationship future, they mention their ex a lot and/or they still see their ex on occasion, and they’re often times hot and cold. You know, either really needing to see you one moment and then needing some no contact space the next.

If this is the case, you may be best served by taking care of yourself more and creating a little space until you feel more certain about his or her intentions and feelings. It also shouldn’t be a problem to just ask and hear what they have to say.

50. Why am I afraid of commitment? How can I get over this?

Answer: If you're asking for yourself, chances are you already know. If you’re wondering about your partner or someone you’ve started dating, then chances are it has something to do with past experiences from either a previous relationship or even their childhood.

Included can also be worries about independence and sharing. If this is an issue you're experiencing with the person you’re with you have to start by talking to them and letting them know how you feel and what you’re looking for.

If they’re unable to give you what you want then you may have some decisions of your own to make. If it’s something you’re trying to understand about yourself there are many books available or you can always talk with a professional therapist skilled in this area. 

Man trying to kiss woman and she won't let him

51. What’s a good balance between time together and not being too needy or clingy?

Answer: This really depends on yours and your partners personalities and needs. Let’s take two anxiously attached individuals - both are more likely to enjoy significant amounts of time together and neither would view the other as too clingy or needy, rather it could just be seen as the right amount of love and affection.

Now, swap out one of them and replace them with an individual with an avoidant attachment personality, and now we could have a problem. If you really want to know what the right balance is for your relationship, talk to your partner and have them tell you what works best for you.

They should also be open to hearing what you want. At least there’s no guesswork and danger associated with interpreting attention, or lack of, the wrong way.  

52. How do you know if trying not to be needy or clingy is coming off as being uninterested or uncaring?

Answer: Communication is key. Again, if you leave the other person guessing, they’ll probably land on the worst case scenario if left to their own devices.

People will naturally create their own story to help fill in the blanks. Why are you trying to be “not clingy”. What are you doing to achieve this? Did your partner tell you they don’t like clingy people or are you just making an assumption? Is it you that likes a little space from time to time? Does your partner know that you are interested and that you do care?

If so, how do you show and/or tell them? Try answering these questions and think about your answers. Always communicate with your partner so they understand the intent behind your actions and don’t fill in the unknown with doubt and fear.

Person swiping on dating app

53. Which dating apps are the best and why?


Get on Tinder if you want tons of user options (millions and millions of users), your dating preference is more on the uncertain or casual side, and you're somewhere between 20 and 40 years old.

Bumble is obviously geared toward women having more control over who contacts them, but ladies should be prepared for at little time crunch for your matches. Benefit is to be selective and not just randomly matching!

eHarmony or Match are your OG's where the focus is on LTRs and serious relationships.

Feeld is perfect for those couples (or singles) that are in the Lifestyle and want to meet other like minded people!

Text bubble with Hello in different languages

54. If a woman starts a conversation on Bumble with just a “hi” or a wave emoji, does it defeat the purpose that a woman initiates the conversation? How should a guy respond? Is it a sign she’s only barely or marginally interested in you?

Answer: Short answer is, it doesn’t defeat the purpose, but it can be a sign that this woman is either not super interested in you or possibly not really interested in even dating right now.

Someone that really wants to connect or make a good impression on a dating site match, puts some effort into this first conversation. Think first impressions. It goes both ways, don't forget.

But, half-hearted and unengaged questions and replies break all the rules for having a successful conversation on a dating app.

People dancing at bar

55. What’s the best way to meet people IRL if I’m just done with dating apps? >21 and <21

Answer: Whether you’re over or under 21 it’s all about talking to people and making connections. If you’re very shy about starting a conversation things might be a little tougher.

If you’re over 21, breweries and wineries are fantastic places to strike up a conversation. REMEMBER: Don’t start up conversations with the intention of scoring a date. Try to score a friend or friends! If the conversation goes well and you find you have some things in common, then politely ask to exchange numbers.

Maybe it’s so you can invite him, her, or them to another outing or coordinate a meet at the same place next time you plan on grabbing a beer or wine. The main thing is to not push and get comfortable finding a conversational opening or making one of your own.

This goes for over and under 21. Regardless of the venue, if it’s a place where people congregate and would likely be open to some friendly conversation, then give it a go and see if friends or friends of friends eventually turn into something more! 

Younger woman with arm around older man

56. What’s an acceptable age gap when dating? For Men and Women

Answer: The technical answer is that as long as both people are legal adults and there is consent by both it could be game on. NOW… if you want to talk socially acceptable, the widely accepted rule is (Your Age / 2) + 7.

This would be the youngest socially acceptable age you should date.

57. Why are some people so shy when it comes to dating and saying how they feel or what they want? How do you get over this shyness?

Answer: The simplest reason is probably that in the early stages of dating, people often hold some things back or keep the “skeletons in the closet” because they don’t know the other person's feelings on many things.

Asking for something or admitting you like something, depending on the subject matter, especially if it's controversial, could make some people shy or hesitant to open up right away.

Also, people with lower self-confidence or self-esteem may be less inclined to voice their needs or opinions, instead they could look to follow the lead of a more confident or decisive partner. This dom/sub role is not uncommon.

As for how to get over it, it will likely take a combination of self-help, professional help, and learned outcome and experience. When you realize that there’s nothing wrong with communicating your feelings and wants with your partner and bad things don’t happen, it becomes easier to do so.

If bad things do happen then this person may not be the right one for you. 

Man and woman friends sitting next to each other

58. Why are some guys only ever in “the friend zone”? How do you get out of it?

Answer: The two main reasons guys or girls find themselves in the friend zone is because they have romantic feelings for “a friend” that:

1. Just doesn’t feel the same romantic feelings back, or

2. If there is the possibility of romantic interest being reciprocated they’re just too afraid or lack the confidence to make it known and see how the other person reacts.

Sure, no one wants to lose a friendship, but sometimes, if done right, you can communicate your feelings and take a chance. Don’t be weird if they don’t feel the same way because that will just make them feel awkward as well.

Moving forward, if you want to avoid “friend zone limbo” with someone you’re interested in, then let them know how you feel early on. Flirt a little, use assertive body language, etc…

There is definitely some different chemistry between friends and “more than just friends” friends. Don’t believe that just because you guys do everything together that he or she knows you want more.

Three woman whispering about a guy

59. Is it true that dating is easier for women? What about if your goal is a serious relationship vs a hookup?

Answer: Nope. It’s the same for both sexes and in both situations. It’s easy for whoever is having a tough time getting what they want to think it’s easier for the other side, but that’s natural.

There are just as many women looking for some sexual fun as there are guys, so if a guys isn't trying to check all his perfect "woman" boxes then it doesn't have to be difficult. Make it easier on yourself though and use apps know more for casual hookups. As for women, we agree the casual pool is certainly deeper, and they do get to be a heck of a lot more picky when it comes to their no strings attached fun.

Whatever it is you’re looking for, if you look in the right place and connect with the right people it can be easy. If you don’t, it can be very difficult. Truth!

60. Why would someone “neg” and does it even work?

Answer: Negging is a tactic when one person tries to diminish or “knock” down another so that they are perceived as being more desirable than they may actually be, in order to make the other person more susceptible to sexual advances..

Why would someone do this? Maybe because they enjoy making people feel bad and probably are unhappy with themselves at the same time. Does it work? Only if you let it, so don’t let it.

Man and woman on a sofa looking at each other

61. What’s the right amount of effort to put into dating someone? Does too much = clingy/needy and too little = uninterested/ghosting-lite?

Answer: We think the right amount of dating effort is directly related to what you want out of the relationship! If you’re either trying to play games or just plain trying to find the right balance between smothering and disappearing, just pay attention to your partner.

It’s healthy to have some “me” time and not always do things as a couple. You should both be doing this. At the beginning of a relationship it’s usually less, and as the relationship ages it will probably grow and then plateau at a frequency that works for both of you.

The vibe of this question seems to be about wanting a new relationship to work out and being afraid to ruin it one way or the other. Pay attention to the little things like frequency of texts, when and how often they initiate contact, and maybe even what prompts them to want to get together and do something.

Don’t be afraid to say you like more or less interaction if that’s the case. It’s all about getting to know and understand each other.

62. Does a dramatic drop off in communication/effort/interaction after we have sex for the first time mean he/she isn't all that interested?

Answer: YES

Woman with surprised face taking glasses off

63. My partner declined my invitation to move in together. We’ve been together over a year. Is this a bad sign for the future of the relationship?

Answer: Absolutely not. But, now that you’ve put it out there, and they declined, hopefully they also included why they’re either not feeling it or not ready for it. If not, you need to ask.

If the answer makes sense, cool, if not, sounds like you guys need to figure out the plan. But, at least you’re talking and you’re able to make some decisions sooner rather than later.

Woman taking condom out of back pocket

64. Is it a red flag if a woman carries condoms?

Answer: The resounding answer is this is a green flag, and may signal she enjoys playing and plays it safe!

65. Do men and women care about someone having a full natural bush? Is shaving expected or no big deal?

Answer: For the most part, the expectation that everything below the belt needs to be smooth and clean shaven has kind of gone by the wayside. Some natural growth is absolutely no problem, though a little cleanup may be in order if we’re talking a jungle.

Basically, something between smooth and natural trimmed is a good place to be. This goes for you too guys!

woman with surprise behind her back

66. How do I bring up or be honest with the sexual things/experiences I want to try? I’m nervous about my partner being shocked or me being judged and things being awkward afterwards?

Answer: Do you think your partner will leave you if you came clean and were honest about what you want? No? Ok, then you can plan on trying to open up.

Depending on what it is, you may want to think of some ways to ease your partner into some conversation that could open the door for you to be more honest. It is entirely possible your partner may have some similar fears and just not be as brave as you to bring it up.

There’s also the possibility that after you tell your partner what you want or what you’re thinking that they may not be immediately comfortable commenting.

Keep things relaxed and don’t focus on whether they’re open to the ideas or not. They’ll let you know if they feel comfortable (or not) when they’re ready.

Woman laying awake with sleeping man next to her

67. How do you handle a low libido partner?

Answer: Make sure there are no medical issues first. If everything checks out in that department, during some relaxed time, when you are not expecting sex, see if you can have a conversation about what they want, like, and what gets them in the mood.

DO NOT say you need more or insinuate that they’re doing something wrong. If you create a negative mood or defensive mood that gets related to the subject or sex, it will just make things that much worse.

Things need to be fun, relaxed, and with zero expectations. Everything should be as positive as it can be and your partner. Communicate to your partner how they make you feel, how handsome or beautiful, they are and you love your connection.

Ease into this type of sexual connection or try to reestablish one that may have been damaged. Never push or force. Yes you deserve a fulfilling relationship too, so if necessary, it may be a good idea to suggest some professional counseling to help you both.

Causes of low libido can vary and range from physical to psychological/emotional. Be compassionate and work with your partner.    

68. How do you maintain a sex life when you have kids/family around all the time?

Answer: The short answer is, you just need to make the time. Get creative! It doesn’t have to be a long session, a quickie can be just as good.

Don’t necessarily wait till the end of the night when everyone is exhausted. If you can, find a way to sneak away, for 5 min. Get babysitters! Honestly, there really is no excuse for not maintaining a healthy sex life after kids.

Two couple on a boat

69. How do you break into the “Life Style”?

Answer: Sorry to disappoint, but there’s no breaking necessary. It’s fairly simple these days! With apps like Feeld or the hundreds of Twitter groups, your entry is a swipe or tweet away.

All you need to bring is a good attitude and a secure sense of confidence. A pineapple t-shirt wouldn’t hurt either.

70. How do you know if or when you're ready or prepared to try lifestyle stuff?

Answer: If you can treat people with respect, understand that this lifestyle is as much about friendships as it is about sex, be secure in your own self and relationship, and have an adventurous spirit, then this could be a way for you to level up some excitement in your life.

Jealousy and disrespect is checked at the door!

One woman flirting with two guys

71. How do you tell your partner you want to act out a fantasy of yours?

Answer: You just gotta ask! Now, don’t bring it up in line at Chipotle, unless it has something to do with burritos(?), but there’s probably a time, place, or mood, that you can create where it could be a natural transition to having the discussion.

Bring it up by discussing fantasies in general. See how your partner involves themselves in the conversation? Ask some “hypothetical” questions to feel them out. If they continue with the conversation they’re probably getting the hint, and chances are it would be safe to just say what you’d like to try.

If they’re unreceptive and this is something you really want to try, you may need to just put it out there so it’s at least in the open and you're communicating and being honest with your wants and feelings.

You may have been thinking about this for quite some time, but this could be their first chance to even consider it. Give them some time and see if they become more open to the idea once any initial surprise wears off. There’s always the possibility they’ve just been waiting for you to ask!

Woman giving her man a thumbs down

72. What do you do when your partner doesn’t arouse or excite you anymore?

Answer: This happens, especially in long term relationships, when things start to feel a little too routine. Sex drops off, you drift into your own stuff, and newer things and ideas become more exciting and arousing than the familiar.

And sorry to break this to you, but chances are, your partner is feeling the same way. This means you can’t put all the responsibility of “getting you turned on” on them.

Take even one more step back and don’t think about this as an issue with arousal, but with connection, chemistry, spark, …fire! This is what you need to get back in order to get the juices flowing again. Try to bring some excitement back into your partner’s life, without expecting anything in return!

Don’t make it sexual and don’t make it about you, make it about the both of you. Small surprises, gestures, and affection for no reason will help turn back the relationship dial to feel a bit more like when things were new. This can be arousing.

Woman's hand grasping a man's back

73. How important is sex in a relationship?

Answer: We want to say that you’d only ask that question if you’ve never had sex before, but we’re trying to be serious here! It’s VERY important for the majority of us, otherwise a lot of companies would be out of business.

Sexual compatibility is one of those things you get a sense of during the dating phase. The older and more experienced we get, the more we understand our own sexuality, what we like, and frankly what we expect in our relationship or life.

So, if you find there’s a disconnect between you and your partner concerning frequency or enjoyment of sex, talk to them about it. Be prepared though, the solution is probably not as simple as, “Ok, I’ll just have more sex with you”.

Chances are there are deeper issues in the relationship muck and this has clogged up the “I want to have sex” valve. Look at your relationship as a whole before you jump right to the “sex reset” button!

Woman making an I don't know gesture

74. I slept with my friend, but I don’t want a romantic relationship. Now it’s awkward… What should I do?

Answer: Based on this question, we’ll have to assume that the friend might have been thinking otherwise and did want something romantic.

If we had our trusty Time Machine working we’d go back and make sure we were clear we didn’t want anything serious. We also get that sometimes things happen quickly and there can be attraction from both sides AND not want anything serious.

Yup, we’re realistic. At this point it’s about being grown-ups now. The sex was consensual and the friendship that was there before should still be there. If there are now also romantic feelings coming from one side, all you can do is talk it through, acknowledge what happened, clarify the friendship.

The awkwardness is really just embarrassment from the feeling of being rejected. This is what needs to be managed on both sides and sometimes it will take a little time and understanding.  

75. What do you do when you feel like you’re the only one initiating sex?

Answer: Yup, the answer is talking again. We know we’ve said it before, but it bears repeating, communication and openness are one of the most important ingredients in a healthy, happy relationship.

Let your partner know how you’re feeling about this. Maybe they never feel like they have a chance to initiate because you always do? Maybe they don’t want it as much as you? Maybe it’s something else…

You won’t know till you talk about it. Pro Tip: Don’t make it sound like an attack or they are doing something wrong. Communicate how you’re feeling, listen, and make sure they’re ok.

Assorted sex toys

76. What are the best sex toys to try as a beginner? More experienced?

Answer: For Beginners you can try: Bullet vibrators, classic vibrators (thin-ish and not more than 5 or 6 inches), silicon dildos (again normal penis size and girth), and maybe a cock ring w/wo a vibrating attachment.

More Experienced: Vibrators and dildos with both vaginal and anal stimulation and penetration, dildos and vibrators with greater than average penis size and girth, anal focus (plugs and beads), remote controlled toys for discreet public play, and restraints, clamps, and strap-ons for more kink related play. Have fun!!!

Woman holding a sex toy

77. How do I tell my partner I want to try playing with sex toys?

Answer: If you’re both newbies then try picking something from the beginners list above and surprising your partner with it during sex. Nothing on the list is anything to be shy or embarrassed about and more likely than not, your partner will be turned on by your wilder side.

78. What do you do when the partner you're married to doesn’t want sex?

Answer: The short answer and recommendation is that you enlist the help and support of a sex therapist and/or marriage counselor.

We’d have questions about things like: Is this a recent change or has your partner always felt like this even before marriage? Have you discussed this and your feelings with your partner before?

Has there been a change in your lives that may have affected the relationship? There’s more to this than we can really discuss quickly, but this is definitely something that warrants some immediate attention and not just for your sex life.

Woman laying in bed holding two sex toys

79. What are some sex games that will increase the excitement in our sex lives and do they work?

Answer: Heck yeah they can work! Here are some games you can checkout or try:

Role Playing (think characters and maybe even dress up - pretending you’re someone else can release some inhibitions), Strip Games (think cards or any other game where there are quick winners and losers), Sexual Dice (you’re at the mercy of the sexy roll), Dirty and Fantasy Talk (like role playing, but you create the scene with your words), Sensual Surprises (blindfolds, restraints, or agree with your partner that you both have to take turns giving each other a new experience), Kinky Cards (similar to dice, but more options), or get creative and make up your own game, challenge, or dare! 

80. How do you get over a breakup?

Answer: There’s so much that can be put into this answer, but the best way to get over a breakup is to cut off all contact with your ex, focus on yourself (self-care), try to do new fun things that will dilute and dominate any painful relationship memories, get to a place where you are happy being with just yourself, then you’re ready to bring a new relationship back into your life.

There is soooo much more that can be unpacked here, but the mission is to keep the answers brief!

Woman trying to look at her boy friends phone

81. We’re dating exclusively, but my new bf/gf still hasn’t deleted their online dating app?

Answer: Are you sure it’s exclusive…? Jk. You shouldn’t sweat it.

If things really are new, most dating apps these days let people pause or silence their profile while they give dating a person a chance. If things don’t work out, they don’t have to worry about rebuilding a profile (that would suck) and can just reactivate.

Your job is to make sure he or she doesn’t want to reactivate it by being the most amazing partner ever! 

82. Why doesn’t my partner want to connect with me on social media?

Answer: There’s a few reasons, but the two most likely are 1. They just aren’t big social media people and like to keep things on the private side (nothing sordid going on), or 2. There is something wonky going on and they don’t want you spotting something they shouldn’t be doing!

Couple holding halves of a broken heart

83. How do you get back together with your ex?

Answer: Here’s another question that a short answer can never do justice… If your ex broke up with you, the best way to get them back is by not trying to get them back and live your best life.

When you’re the one trying it just looks bad and they will always have the upper hand and feel like they have nothing to lose.

If you broke up with your ex and feel like you made a mistake, you better start groveling and showing them what has changed, why they should take you back, and that they can feel secure in a relationship with you if they do take you back.

84. What makes a relationship work? Tips for a healthy relationship

Answer: If you’ve made it this far you’ll know that Open and Honest Communication is number one on the list, lol. Then, of course, Trust, Respect, Quality Time (together AND apart), Great SEX and Intimacy in general, Having Your Partners Back, ALWAYS, and expect to Grow TOGETHER and not apart.

Man crying

85. Why do breakups hurt so bad and what can I do to stop the pain?

Answer: The attachment you shared, the fun times together, the vision of a shared future, and the physical touch touch, smell, companionship all created positive rewards and dopamine releases in your brain.

Your body got used to it, liked it, wants more of it. And now that it’s gone, the only thing your brain can do is punch you in the gut (and heart & mind) to try and make you get it all back. It’s just like how an addict struggles through withdrawal.

You just happen to be addicted to your old relationship. There are strategies to fast track through this, but that’s for another question! …or article. 

86. Are non-married couples happier than married couples?

Answer: No, …and yes. What we’re saying is it really doesn’t matter whether your relationship is legally binding or not (and we're not splitting hairs on common law either).

What matters is if you and your partner have a shared vision of your relationship, life, and future together. As long as you’re in agreement, being married or not really doesn’t impact your happiness, …because what you have is what you both want.

man and woman talking at a party

87. I’m getting over a breakup - when am I ready to date again?

Answer: This was touched on in a previous question and the answer is, when you have put a previous relationship behind you, you are comfortable not being in a relationship at all (happy with yourself), and you are emotionally ready to let another person into your life and also give them what they need in a healthy relationship. Boom!

88. How long does it take to get over a breakup?

Answer: Two Months. No, no, wait.. Two Years! Oh wait, I think that’s just me. And yes, I’ve gotten over a breakup in both Two Months and it’s also taken Two Years.

The point is there’s no fixed amount of time to get over a breakup. It really just depends on the connection you had and the time together.

It’s a super common question, because no one wants to be in “Breakup Pain-ville” for any longer than they need to. We will say that if you do the right things and not backslide much, the average person can recover from a breakup within 3-6 months.

men and women lined up looking at their phones

89. I was dumped - why is my ex still texting me?

Answer: Great question! Why indeed…? If you’re not reaching out to your ex and the contact is just them responding to you, then it sounds like a classic case of Breadcrumbing.

Read This: Stop! Before Staying Friends With Your Ex | What You Need To Know

And This!: What is Breadcrumbing? What it Means and How to Respond

90. How do I tell the difference between real profiles and bots on a dating site?

Answer: The pictures look staged and/or too professional, bio’s are super thin or non-existent, responses are immediate and quickly escalate to weird or inappropriate asks, and grammar or syntax is not correct or natural.

Man with his fingers in his ears as woman yells at him

91. What is “No Contact” and does it work?

Answer: This is a post breakup healing tactic where you cut off ALL contact with your ex. No calls, texts, meetups, social media, …anything. It’s suggested that this lasts for 30 Days.

At the end of the 30 day period, you should have been able to get a better perspective on the relationship (the bad parts and not just the good) and found the time for self-care and healing.

By doing this you force yourself to accept a life without your ex and open yourself up to new and great relationship opportunities.

92. How do I know it’s time to end/leave my current partner/relationship?

Answer: If time together is less enjoyable than time apart, this is a sign. A partner is supposed to add to the quality and enjoyment in life and not make it worse.

Just because you miss them when you’re not with them, if as soon as you're with them again things are bad, you know what you need to do.

Man caught cheating on wife

93. Why do people cheat in a relationship?

Answer: There's a whole bunch of reasons, but the common list looks something like this: Unhappy, Lack of Love in current relationship, Need for Variety, An Opportunity and Lack of Self Control, Not Satisfied in current relationship, Bored, or Angry.

94. Are “Love Languages” a real thing and should I know what they are?

Answer: They are a real thing, as in they exist in the book by, Dr. Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages. But, they’re not something that’s spoken as much as they give you insight into how people want to be loved or accept affection. And, yes, this is always a good thing to know about your partner.

man angry at woman that not paying him any attention

95. What do you do when your partner’s a narcissist?

Answer: It can be tough being romantically involved with a narcissist. Everything is centered around them and you seem to not really be that important.

The best thing to do is first understand what the condition is, make sure you set boundaries and communicate YOUR needs to your partner, if you’re still struggling then see if they’ll agree to some professional health (individual and/or couples), and finally, you need to make sure that you take care of yourself.  

96. What is Gaslighting?

Answer: This is when one person tries to manipulate another by making them doubt or second guess themselves in order to control or deceive them. 

woman getting massage

97. What is self-care in a relationship?

Answer: Self-Care is when you take the time to physically, mentally, and/or emotionally care for and focus on yourself.

This is usually part of a successful relationship dynamic where two people often do everything as a “we”. It can also be a way, outside of a relationship, when a person separates themselves from other responsibilities (work, family, school, etc…) and devotes time to do something that improves them personally or gives them joy.

Deep Dive: Self Care After a Breakup -  Top 15 Tips For a Breakup Recovery

98. How do I create a dating profile that really works?


1. Fill out your bio - If you want people to take you seriously, and not think you're a Bot, let people know who you are so they know their not wasting their time swiping on you. Personality, Experiences, Details, Likes... These are the things people that people connect with!

2. Provide multiple quality photos that clearly show what you look like - You may have the greatest personality out there, but people generally need to connect on a physical level as well. And this should go without saying, but it still happens all the time... please rethink all bathroom selfies and/or headshots. If it looks like you're trying to hide something, there's too many other profile choices that don't make you wonder.

A little mystery and creating some excitement is great, but don't forget you need to get in the proverbial door first!

Best Advice: 6 Tips for Becoming a Tinder Top Pick

woman with shocked look on her face

99. What are the top reasons men and women swipe left on a dating profile?

Answer: If you're not getting hits on your Bumble, Tinder, or Hinge accounts that you may be guilty of one of the following:

Bad Pics - If you're only rocking group photos, playing the "guess who I am game?", bathroom selfies, you're in disguise in all photos by always wearing hat and glasses, or things just look a bit too filtered or professional.

Bad Bio - It's either non-existent, boring, or you're leading with a laundry list of all the things you hate or require in a relationship. (yikes)

Bad Chemistry - You like to travel and they like to stay home, you're a vegan and they hit the Brazilian steak house once a week...? This isn't necessarily your fault, but this is how people are able to date with intention and connect with people they can relate to.

Bad Timing - You're at different stages of life or want different life styles... Maybe they want kids and you don't or you're kids are moved out and they still have young ones? There are some life stages people either don't wan to miss or aren't feeling like repeating.

Just Plain Bad - Off color jokes, disrespectful, inappropriate content, overtly phishing for follows... These things turn many people off and end in Left Swipe Camp.

cell phone showing dating app

100. What are the top reasons men and women swipe right on a dating profile?

Answer: To keep it simple, these are the reasons people swipe right: Attraction (physical or other), Common Interests (hobbies, work, activities), Common Goals (family, retirement, finances, etc...), and Perceived Chemistry (personality and ideology). This is why a proper dating profile will improve your chances of meeting, matching, and even choosing the right person.

Also think about it a dating profile funnel - The top of the funnel are your pictures, which are the first thing people will see. This is your first opportunity to get their attention. Next, depending on the dating app, people will see whatever blurb you provide.

This is your opportunity to hook the "right" people, by showing off your personality! Finally, if they're still with you, you've got them close to the end of the funnel where you give them a quick sense of who you are and what you're looking for in a partner and life. Whether it's something serios or casual, just be clear about your intentions.

With the right funnel you'll meet the swipe right people!

Fat funny man dressed like a super hero

101. Do Serious (normal) or Funny/Outrageous (made up, joking) bios get more hits or attention from prospective matches?

Answer: The truth is they both get attention and it really just depends on the type of attention you're looking for! Neither one is bad...

If your looking for someone with a quirky or fringe sense of humor, chances are you won't snag them with a serious or vanilla profile. You be you. That's how you find your the person that hopefully gets you!

102. I’m short - what can I do to improve my dating matches?

Answer: First of all, it kind of sucks that something you had no control over like your height, could be impacting your success on dating apps. This being said, since there's nothing that can be done about it, it's better to not dwell on it and focus on the things you can control.

Since people get to choose who they want to date, and this choice typically involves more than just height, try to appeal to their other dating wants and needs.

If Tom Cruise (5'7"), Zac Efron (5'8"), and Kevin Hart (5'4") can attract women, there shouldn't be anything stopping you either! Yes, yes, we get it. They may be slightly more well know, but my dude, channel some of that Kevin Hart confidence and let it shine through.

 Whew, You made it! Thank you so much for getting into all things Relationships with us and we hope to see you when we do our follow-up the Top 647 Relationship Q&A's! Get ready to scroooooll!!

Disclosure: This article was not written by a medical professional, unless specifically stated otherwise. Advice or support content is not intended to be either professional medical or mental health advice or recommendations. All support and advice is from direct and/or anecdotal contributor/author experiences and topic research. If you are experiencing a physical or mental health emergency or mental or physical abuse, please seek professional support. Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to us, at no cost to you when you decide to purchase a reviewed product.


Get Our Monthly Newsletter, Directly Into Your Inbox!

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form
California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA) Opt-Out IconYour Privacy Choices Notice at Collection