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Mind and Body

1000% Improvement After a Breakup | Including Celebrity Successes

See some big names that have already done this! How to use a breakup as the catalyst and motivation to make some truly life altering changes, away from the life you’re in, and towards the life you dream about.


Kenneth Erickson


Feb 26, 2023

How a Breakup Could Be the Opportunity You Needed to Succeed

  • How a breakup could actually be an opportunity for positive life changes
  • Things to consider when preparing yourself for change after a breakup
  • Goal setting and goal success planning tips
  • Focusing on yourself to achieve love and happiness

Shaping a Better Future for Yourself After a Breakup

Breakups can be one of the most difficult experiences that a person can go through. Whether it was a long-term relationship or a brief affair, the end of a romantic relationship can leave a person feeling lost, confused, and heartbroken.

It’s an event that can be life-altering and can cause a significant amount of emotional pain. However, it's important to understand that it's possible to move forward and create a better future for yourself after a breakup.

It’s even possible to use this heartbreak as a catalyst and the motivation to make some truly life altering changes that move you away from the life you’re in, which may not be feeling like he best life for you, towards the life you dream about.

When you visualize this "dream" life, you're able to see all the happiness, love, and success that you want and deserve.

In this article, we will explore some of the steps that you can take to overcome the pain of a breakup and how to start using this as an opportunity to create a new and brighter future.

When you accept the reality of the breakup, allow yourself to grieve, and take some actionable steps in planning and implementing your path towards your vision, you can jump-start the healing process and take control of your life. Let's dive in!

Turn a Breakup Into Opportunity for Personal Growth and Success

First things first, let’s make sure you’re ready to commit to the work it’s going to take to start creating the YOU version 2.0. You’re not going to be able to do this when you’re constantly getting pulled, emotionally, back into the pain of your old relationship.

So with this in mind we’ll just take care of a little house keeping like the acceptance and grieving stages of a breakup, and giving yourself the time to get through this before you go full speed into the planning and action stages necessary to achieve your goal.

In the meantime though, it's always helpful to start visualizing the future or goal you desire and also start building your "emotional and mental foundation" with gratitude, positive thinking, self-confidence, and other mindfulness techniques. So when you start the work, and it will take work, you are buttressed mentally and emotionally.

It’s best that you know and prepare for it now so that you are less likely to give up when things either get difficult or when the pain from your breakup starts to fade, it will happen. Remembering what you visualized and why you want this will help you keep going.

Were you truly happy in your old relationship? Be honest

I like to believe that when a breakup occurs, even if you're the one on the receiving end, that you weren't happy all the time either. Sure it hurts, and yes you feel like you didn’t have any control or say in the matter, but there’s also the possibility your ex-partner did you a favor.

Without the breakup the relationship may have just coasted on for an unknown amount of time, simply getting in the way of a truly great relationship, or the opportunity for you to build this new life for yourself.

I have to imagine that hanging around in a “it’s ok” relationship is emotionally draining and doesn’t leave a whole lot of energy leftover for self improvement or life goals. Guess what, now all that energy is yours to do with as you choose and you choose! Remember, it's You 2.0 time!

Others have used a breakup as the catalyst for self-improvement and success before you

Research has found that people who are resilient and able to cope with the stress of a breakup tend to have better outcomes in terms of their psychological well-being than those who struggle to adapt. These resilient individuals tend to have higher levels of self-esteem and self-worth, greater emotional stability, and a more positive outlook on life.

The idea that a romantic breakup inevitably leads to permanent emotional damage is not necessarily accurate, and there is evidence to suggest that individuals can recover and even grow from the experience.

This may all sound great, theoretically, but just so you know, there’re some people that have used a breakup of a relationship as the catalyst or motivation to build a better future for themselves. You may even recognize some of these names:

1. Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey has spoken openly about the challenges she faced after a breakup in her early 20s. At the time, Oprah was working as a news anchor in Baltimore and was deeply in love with her boyfriend. However, the relationship ended, and Oprah found herself struggling to cope with the breakup.

In the aftermath of the breakup, Oprah's work began to suffer, and she was eventually fired from her job as a news anchor. She moved to Chicago to start a new job as a talk show host, but she still struggled with the pain of the breakup and other personal issues.

However, Oprah used this experience as motivation to pursue her dreams and work even harder on her career. She began to focus on topics that resonated with her audience, such as self-improvement, spirituality, and personal growth. Her talk show, "The Oprah Winfrey Show," became a huge success and ran for 25 seasons, making Oprah one of the most successful and influential media personalities in the world.

Oprah has credited her breakup and the challenges she faced during that time with helping her to become the person she is today. She has spoken openly about the importance of perseverance and self-improvement in overcoming difficult times and achieving success.

Oprah's story is a powerful example of how a breakup can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and positive change. Despite facing significant challenges and setbacks, Oprah was able to turn her pain into motivation and build a successful career that has inspired and empowered millions of people around the world.

2. Arianna Huffington

Arianna Huffington is a Greek-American author, syndicated columnist, and entrepreneur who is best known as the founder of The Huffington Post, a news and blog site that she launched in 2005. But before her entrepreneurial success, Arianna went through a difficult time in her personal life that ultimately led her to create The Huffington Post.

In 1997, Arianna went through a painful divorce from her husband, Michael Huffington, a former congressman and oil magnate. The divorce was highly publicized, and Arianna found herself struggling with depression, insomnia, and other health problems. She eventually collapsed from exhaustion and woke up in a pool of blood, having broken her cheekbone and sustained other injuries.

This wake-up call prompted Arianna to reevaluate her priorities and focus on her own well-being. She began practicing yoga, meditation, and other mindfulness techniques, and became passionate about sharing these practices with others.

In 2005, Arianna launched The Huffington Post, a website that aimed to provide a platform for diverse voices and perspectives on a range of topics, including politics, entertainment, and wellness. The site quickly became a huge success, attracting millions of readers and contributors from around the world.

Arianna has spoken openly about how her personal struggles, including her divorce, inspired her to create The Huffington Post and pursue her passion for mindfulness and well-being. She has written several books on the topic, including "Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder."

Arianna's story is a powerful example of how personal challenges can lead to significant personal growth and transformation. By embracing mindfulness and focusing on her own well-being, Arianna was able to overcome the pain of her divorce and create a successful career that has inspired and empowered millions of people around the world.

3. Elon Musk

Elon Musk is a South African-born entrepreneur and business magnate who is best known for his work in the tech industry, including his roles as the CEO of SpaceX and Tesla, Inc. But before his success, Musk experienced a difficult breakup that prompted him to pursue his dreams and achieve great things.

In 2008, Musk went through a painful divorce from his first wife, Justine Musk. The divorce was emotionally challenging for Musk, who found himself struggling to cope with the loss of his marriage and the strain it put on his relationships with his children.

Elon, however, used this experience as motivation to pursue his passions and make a positive impact on the world. He threw himself into his work at SpaceX and Tesla, working long hours and pushing the boundaries of what was possible in space exploration and electric vehicles.

Musk has spoken openly about the role that his divorce and other personal challenges have played in shaping his perspective and driving his success.

He has credited his experiences with helping him to develop resilience, a willingness to take risks, and a sense of urgency in pursuing his goals. By channeling his pain and frustration into his work, Musk was able to pursue his passions and achieve great things.

These are just some extreme examples of creating better lives after a breakup, but not everything needs to be so grand, and if you just focus on your own vision of happiness, there’s every reason to believe you will succeed as well!

While the end of a relationship can be challenging, it can also be an opportunity for individuals to re-evaluate their priorities, pursue their passions, and make positive changes in their lives.

Personal growth, whether you use it as a tactic to improve your attractiveness in order to get your ex back, or as healing exercise to get over things and move on, will always be a benefit to you personally and a win-win.

Now, while it's certainly possible to just jump headfirst into a business, career change, or any other self-improvement growth opportunity, it’s more realistic, and potentially beneficial, to take a minute to feel what you're going through right now and grieve.

Flush the breakup out of your system first, then begin the work of creating and implementing the plan for the new and improved you.

Prepare Emotionally for the Work Ahead

Take a minute to acknowledge what you’re going through, your feelings, and the reasons you want to make these self improvements

Accepting the reality of the breakup, grieving, and cutting off or managing communication isn’t our focus here, but it is a necessary step, so we’ll touch on this here briefly. For information on other targeted topics, check Love & Relationship and Mind and Body posts at

Whether you're feeling things are over, with no chance of reconciliation, or there’s still feelings between the two of you and a possibility of reconnecting, the main focus right now, regardless of which, needs to be ”you”.

This is your opportunity to make the most of a focus on you! Remembering these tips will help.
1. Accept the relationship is over 

This can be difficult, especially if you're still in love with your ex-partner or you were together for a long time. However, it's important to acknowledge that the relationship is over and that you need to move on, otherwise it’s likely you’ll focus all your attention and energy on trying to fix things or understand why it ended. This can be a painful process, but it's a necessary step towards healing.

2. Allow yourself to grieve 

It is normal to experience a range of emotions after a breakup, such as sadness, anger, and confusion. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and take time to grieve the loss of the relationship. Grieving is a natural part of the healing process. It's important to allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with a breakup, including sadness, anger, and disappointment. Don't be afraid to cry, scream, or vent your emotions in a healthy way. Talking to a trusted friend or therapist can also be helpful in processing your emotions.

3. Manage any communication with your ex

This is probably one of the first steps of the actual work needed to achieve your vision of personal happiness and success. It can be difficult, especially if you're used to talking with them every day, but it’s also something that you can control. It's important to create space between you and your ex to allow for healing and growth. This may mean deleting their number, unfollowing them on social media, or avoiding places where you know they will be.

Overcoming the pain of a breakup requires time, patience, and self-care. Accepting things are over, allows you the space to grieve and put it past you. Commit to focusing on yourself so you can heal and prepare for a better future.

Goal Planning and Goal Success After a Breakup

Get your mind and body in the right space and commit to this change - Taking Control of Your Life - Beginning the work of creating and planning the new and improved you.

We’re not going to pretend that there’s some magic line between feeling the loss of the breakup and no pain at all. Committing to your vision is important, but being prepared for those thoughts and moments that will distract you from the work on yourself is also important. It will happen. During these moments it’s important to lean on some coping strategies that work best for someone after a breakup.

Tips for creating a success focused mind space after a breakup are:

1. Practice self-care

Taking care of yourself is essential during this time. Make sure to eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation like yoga, deep breathing exercises, or meditation.

2. Seek support from friends and family

Lean on your support system for emotional support and guidance. Spend time with loved ones who can provide you with a listening ear, encouragement, and positive distraction. Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people can help you stay motivated and provide a sense of community.

3. Consider therapy or a life coach

Speaking with a therapist can be helpful for many people after a breakup. A therapist can help you process your emotions and gain insight into patterns and behaviors that may have contributed to the relationship's end.

4. Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques

Mindfulness techniques can be useful for helping individuals suffering from a breakup to view the experience as an opportunity for significant self-improvement and develop greater self-compassion and self-awareness, and move forward with greater clarity and purpose.

Related Read: The 7 Stages of a Breakup

Set your goals, create your plan, stick with it!

Ok now that we’ve dealt with some of the old negative stuff and how to be prepared to manage it, let’s move onto the main goal here, and let’s call it what it is, the fun stuff!

Seeing your new future and planning for your new future, much like success and life, are your first steps. It’s also important that we layer this alongside actionable steps that translate into momentum and progress needed to achieve your vision and goal.

You will certainly gain some comfort in knowing that this future is a possibility, but won’t it be even more amazing when it’s a reality that you made happen and are living in!

Visualization alone isn’t enough to get you to where you want to be. It’s often used in conjunction with other techniques such as goal setting, positive thinking, and action planning to create a well-rounded approach to achieving your goals.

5 Tips that’ve help others with their goal and success strategies: 
1. Affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to reinforce a desired belief or mindset. They can help to reprogram negative thought patterns and build self-confidence. For example, you might repeat the affirmation "I am capable of achieving my goals" to help you stay motivated and focused.

2. Goal Setting

Setting specific, measurable goals can help to provide direction and focus in your life. It's important to break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps so that you can track your progress and stay motivated.

3. Gratitude

Focusing on the positive aspects of your life and expressing gratitude for them can help to cultivate a more positive mindset. You might keep a gratitude journal, where you write down things that you are thankful for each day.

4. Visualization

As we discussed earlier, visualization involves creating a mental image of a desired outcome. You can use visualization to help you stay focused on your goals and manifest them in your life.

Visualization involves using your imagination to create a mental picture of a desired outcome, such as happiness or success. By focusing on this mental image, you can help to manifest that outcome and work towards achieving it in real life. While visualization is not strictly a mindfulness technique, it does share some similarities with mindfulness practices. Both involve focusing the mind and directing attention towards a specific goal or experience. In this way, visualization can be a useful tool for promoting a positive mindset and cultivating feelings of happiness and success.

5. Positive Self-Talk

The way we talk to ourselves can have a big impact on our thoughts and emotions. Practicing positive self-talk, such as saying "I can do this" or "I am worthy of success", can help to build self-confidence and reduce negative self-talk.

Oprah Winfrey has spoken about the power of gratitude and positive thinking in helping her to overcome difficult times in her life. She often practices daily gratitude exercises and meditation, which she credits with helping her to maintain a positive mindset and stay focused on her goals.

Arianna Huffington is a strong advocate for mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises. She has written extensively on the benefits of mindfulness for reducing stress and improving overall well-being, and often incorporates these practices into her daily routine.

It's important to find the techniques that work best for you and incorporate them into your daily routine to help you achieve your goals and live a fulfilling life.

Create, Act, Move!

Momentum Is Critical

Put pen to paper, sign up for that class, create that website, join that group… Whatever it happens to be, accomplishments breed confidence which breeds more accomplishments, which breeds success. So, no matter how small, figure out what works for you to get things moving and keep things moving.

Once you've set your goals, it's important to create a plan for achieving them. This can include breaking down large goals into smaller, manageable steps, and setting deadlines for each step. Creating a plan can help you stay focused and motivated, and ensure that you are making progress towards your goals.

Taking control of your life after a breakup and taking the first steps towards shaping a better future for yourself requires effort, determination, and a willingness to be proactive. Remember, it's okay to take things one step at a time, and progress may not always be linear. The most important thing is to stay focused on your goals and keep moving forward.

These approaches can help get, and keep, you on track with goal setting and goal progress:
1. Start Small

When you're feeling overwhelmed after a breakup or facing a major life change, it can be helpful to start with small, manageable steps. This could mean setting a goal to go for a short walk each day, to spend 10 minutes meditating in the morning, or work on your business or personal success improvement strategy plan. By starting small, you can build momentum and gain confidence as you move forward.

2. Experiment

The minimum viable approach also involves experimentation and iteration. This means trying out different strategies and approaches and being willing to pivot or adjust as needed. For example, if you're trying to establish a new exercise routine, you might experiment with different types of workouts to see what you enjoy the most and what fits best into your schedule.

3. Focus on What Matters

Another key aspect of the minimum viable approach is focusing on what matters most. When you're going through a difficult time, it's easy to get bogged down in the details and lose sight of the big picture. By focusing on your core values and priorities, you can stay focused on what really matters and make progress towards your goals.

4. Track Your Progress

Charting a way out of heartbreak and towards a new life requires tracking your progress. Keeping a journal, creating a vision board or using a habit tracker app can help you keep track of your progress and stay motivated.

Overall, the minimum viable technique can be a helpful framework for getting through a breakup and starting a new chapter in your life. By starting small, experimenting, focusing on what matters, and tracking your progress, you can build a strong foundation for lasting change and growth.

Setting specific, achievable goals is an important step towards taking control of your life after a breakup. This can help you create a sense of purpose and direction, and give you something to work towards. When setting goals, make sure they are realistic, measurable, and aligned with your values and priorities.

Remember this applies to many different types of goals. Not everyone wants to be the next Oprah or Elon. Setting a goal that means something to you, and that will make a positive improvement that you can enjoy as a success, is all that matters.

So whether it’s starting a new career, that business you always dreamed of, or it’s cleaning out the garage, remodeling the basement, or just redecorating your living space to create a sanctuary that's just for you, it may start with seeing it, but it only becomes a reality when you do it. So make it happen!

There are lots of paths to the same destination. You just need to find the path or technique that works best for you.

Here're more helpful tips and tricks for goal setting and success planning after a breakup:
1. SMART Goals

The SMART framework stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. It is a popular goal setting technique that helps you to create clear and actionable goals.

2. OKRs

Objectives and Key Results (OKRs) is a goal setting framework that was popularized by companies like Google. It involves setting specific, measurable objectives and identifying key results that will help you achieve those objectives.

3. BHAGs

A BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) is a long-term, challenging goal that inspires and motivates you. This technique is useful for setting ambitious goals that push you out of your comfort zone.

4. 80/20 Rule

The 80/20 rule (also known as the Pareto Principle) states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. This technique involves identifying the most important tasks that will help you achieve your goals, and focusing on them first.

5. Action Planning

Action planning involves breaking down larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps. This technique helps you to create a roadmap for achieving your goals and track your progress.

6. Visualizing Success

Visualization involves creating a mental image of a desired outcome. This technique can help you to stay focused on your goals and manifest them in your life.

7. Gratitude Practice

Focusing on the positive aspects of your life and expressing gratitude for them can help to cultivate a more positive mindset. This technique can help to reduce stress and increase motivation.

Elon Musk has spoken about the importance of staying focused and disciplined in pursuing his goals. He often works long hours and sets ambitious targets for himself and his companies, which he believes helps him to stay motivated and overcome setbacks.

And to think, this all started with a breakup. Finding your own unique strategy and resources for overcoming heartbreak and achieving success doesn’t include a  one-size-fits-all solution. Success will likely take a combination of positive thinking, mindfulness practices, discipline, and creativity.

Finding Love Again After a Breakup

We haven't forgotten what got us here, and we won’t pretend that a relationship isn’t important to your overall health and wellbeing. We mentioned in the beginning that some of your initial motivation for these life changes and improvements may certainly be inspired by the desire to either get back together with your ex or to move on and find that love that’s better for you. 

Hopefully by this time you're making new connections or meeting new people on your growth journey. If you do happen to still be working through feelings for your ex, you are hopefully in a space now to make better decisions. Remember that this growth is part of what helped you heal, and that you still have work to do.

It’s important to make sure that whomever you’re with, whether ex or new relationship, you need this time and their support to continue with your self-improvement goals. This is all part of being in a good and supportive relationship. It’s also very likely that this new you that you’ve been building, is precisely the reason people are drawn to you - Think self-confidence = Attractiveness

Take the time to heal and process your emotions before jumping back into the dating pool. Take the time to reflect on what you want in a relationship and make sure that you are emotionally ready to start dating again. Most importantly, don't forget what got you back to a place where you can start seeing a romantic future again.

Remember: Improving yourself builds confidence, and that is a quality that potential romantic partners find very attractive.


Rebuilding and reinventing yourself after a breakup is a process that takes time, patience, and effort. By taking care of yourself, building a support system, and learning new skills, you can create a new and stronger version of yourself.

Remember, everyone's journey is unique, so don't compare yourself to others or feel discouraged if progress is slow. Stay focused on your goals, take things one step at a time, and believe in yourself.

Disclosure: This article was not written by a medical professional, unless specifically stated otherwise. Advice or support content is not intended to be either professional medical or mental health advice or recommendations. All support and advice is from direct and/or anecdotal contributor/author experiences and topic research. If you are experiencing a physical or mental health emergency or mental or physical abuse, please seek professional support. Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to us, at no cost to you when you decide to purchase a reviewed product.


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